Supporting boys in understanding emotions to grow into kind, resilient individuals

In recent years, news headlines have frequently highlighted the challenges surrounding men’s mental health, and the troubling rates of violence and suicide among men. While these stories are not representative of men overall, these issues don’t emerge overnight. They’re often rooted in childhood, shaped by how boys are taught to understand emotions, handle challenges, and connect with others. While these statistics are concerning, they also present an opportunity. If we start now, we can nurture a generation of boys who grow into kind, empathetic, and resilient men. If we encourage sensitivity, respect, and emotional awareness from an early age, we can help our little boys become the well-rounded, compassionate adults our world needs.

Raising both sexes present different challenges for parents, but really it’s a very individual approach to each child to ensure they’re learning to become kind, respectful human beings.

Traditionally, little boys have been taught to “man up” and avoid showing “weakness” by expressing emotions. This can be deeply isolating, leading to feelings of loneliness or frustration, and in some cases, acting out through belittling or bullying those who are more open with their emotions. In fact, a recent international study found that Australian teenagers experience bullying at the second highest rate among developed countries. The good news is that bullying numbers are showing a downward trend, suggesting that shifts in attitudes are making a difference.

By encouraging young boys to embrace and express their feelings, as well as having awareness of them in others, we can cultivate environments that support kindness and empathy, helping them build respectful relationships and healthy ways to cope with emotions. This approach is essential for raising well-rounded, compassionate individuals who understand that true strength comes from being open, understanding, and kind to themselves and others.

At Little Scholars, we believe strength comes from vulnerability, showing and sharing the range of human emotion, and understanding and displaying empathy rather than ignorance.

Our goal is to provide a secure and trusting environment in which all children feel a sense of belonging. We support children to form positive relationships with peers, educators and their environments, while recognising and maybe improving their existing relationships with their family and community.

Part of building and maintaining these relationships means teaching children to recognise the range of emotions within themselves and in others. This in turn builds empathy, understanding and respect for others. We do this in a variety of age-appropriate ways to support children’s emotional development. From understanding what the various feelings are, understanding how they feel, how to see these in others, as well as mindfulness practices to deal with harder feelings when they arise.

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Dean with his little boy on #LoveUBro Day (via Instagram)
What can parents do in raising boys to be caring and compassionate?

To get an understanding of some of the potential reasons for what’s happening in males, what we can do now, we spoke to Dean Cooper, the program manager for White Ribbon Australia, a not-for-profit global social movement working to stop men’s violence against women.  The organisation’s mission is to strive for a society where all women and children are safe. November is White Ribbon Month in Australia, we encourage you to visit the White Ribbon Australia website and contribute if you can.

Dean also happens to be the proud dad of two little boys, one of whom is pictured with Dean in the top photo and attends Little Scholars. We’re thrilled to have Dean’s expertise on this important topic.

Could you please tell us about your role at White Ribbon Australia?
 

I design programs for high schools and workplaces on domestic violence (DV), masculinity, respectful relationships, consent, etc. Secondary to my role at White Ribbon Australia, I am an ambassador for the innerBoy app which is an app assisting men to heal from trauma and get support for any mental health challenges they are facing.

How did you get involved in this important work?

Well, originally I wanted to play Rugby Union professionally, however that didn’t work out, so I studied criminology and undertook a career in corrections, conducting assessments on people who committed offences of all kinds. I began to focus solely on working with men and fathers who used violence, and about seven years ago I started facilitating men’s behavioural change programs for men being released from prison for DV offences. Quite alarmingly, what I learnt was a lot of behaviour I engaged in within sporting environments, such as sexist jokes, violent chants, and street harassment on nights out, actually made their way into these programs, and condoned or supported a lot of problematic beliefs these men who were using violence had. It was my full circle journey to realising that not all disrespect leads to violence, but all violence starts with disrespect. I’ve decided to stick with this work and found a passion for it as I think it’s important that those who are being disrespectful or choosing to use violence receive counter narratives from culture to say these behaviours aren’t okay.

What has made you so passionate about ensuring we raise kind, respectful boys?

I am passionate about the role men play in shaping children, especially boys, and have a desire to see every father role-modelling safe and respectful behaviour. I truly believe safe, engaged, and present fathers can positively impact our future generations and are the solution for the social issues we see today. Unfortunately, what I’ve learned in this work is that a lot of men either didn’t have positive role models growing up, or look around at music, TV, movies, pornography, social media, etc. and have no mainstream examples of what positive, safe, and effective fathering looks like. It’s my passion to create spaces for men to learn what fathering means and how we role model respect, equality, and safety.

The most important question: what could parents, especially of little boys, do now to ensure they’re raising kind, respectful human beings?

There isn’t much at such a young age that we can ‘teach’ in that formal sense. Children will learn from observing so it’s important we role model more than try and teach. I’ll just provide my own strategies.

One thing I am trying to personally do is role model accountability. If my son says something like ‘that makes me sad’ or ‘I don’t like it’ if I am playing, or implementing a boundary I try to talk to him about why it upsets him and validate his feelings. I also role model saying ‘sorry’. Likewise, with my wife I make a purposeful attempt to apologise for things and role model what it’s like to get it wrong and change my mind. It’s crucial to show we don’t always have the answers, we are going to make mistakes, but we can always acknowledge our impact and make amends. 

I try to hold myself proactively accountable as well. As adults, we know when we haven’t done our best work. If we are distracted on our phone when our child tries to engage us, or if we snap at them for not doing something we asked, or if they are talking and we interrupt with something else. We can proactively hold ourselves accountable, I try to say ‘son, when you were talking then I realise I wasn’t fully listening and I am sorry, what you have to say is important and I recognise by not listening I didn’t show that.’ 

“I also believe we play a huge role in teaching our boys to regulate their emotions. We seem to be better at comforting girls or more accepting of their emotions. In terms of our boys, we need to shift from correction to connection.”

Another, ‘I’m sorry I yelled before, it’s my responsibility to stay calm and I didn’t do that, it wasn’t my intention to make you upset but I realise it did, I am sorry for that and next time I am going to do better.’ If I see my son be unkind to someone in the playground or at kindy drop off, I try use those moments to ask him what he thinks the impacts were and how we can make amends. For example, ‘I saw when you took those two toys and didn’t give one to Johnny. Look at Johnny now, does he look happy or sad? Johnny looks sad and I think it’s because he doesn’t have a toy, can you help me find a way for Johnny to have a toy too?’ and layer that in with an apology for not sharing. Taking those steps to encourage my son to see the impact they have on others, be comfortable with reflecting on what they’ve done, and how to repair. That’s how we start to shape kind, reflective, and safe boys.

At least once a week, I try:

 1. Admit a mistake I made

2. Share what I learnt about that mistake

 3. Ask for help. 

This is how we mark ourselves as a psychologically safe person. If we can role model getting it wrong, learning from that, and being willing to accept help, we role model that we are a safe person to hold accountable, we’ll treat their mistakes with empathy and understanding, and it’s okay to make mistakes. If we can mark ourselves as safe people by role modeling this, then we normalise recognising the impacts we have on others and repairing those. I just never want my children to hide something from me because they felt like they couldn’t tell me. I don’t want them to say ‘I made a mistake don’t tell Dad’ and instead say ‘I made a mistake I have to tell Dad.’ That’s the goal.

I also believe we play a huge role in teaching our boys to regulate their emotions. We seem to be better at comforting girls or more accepting of their emotions. In terms of our boys, we need to shift from correction to connection. Again, I think we need to role model this and talk about when we are frustrated, sad, disappointed, happy etc. I speak with a lot of dads who openly state at times they’ve been sad or angry, their children will ask ‘Daddy, are you okay?’ and they respond ‘Yeah, I am fine’ when they really aren’t. Children are these perfect little emotional barometers and what we actually do in that moment is not protect them from any negative feelings, but lie to them and tell them their sense of emotions was wrong. Instead, I try and role model ‘Daddy is feeling sad right now, thanks for noticing and asking if I am okay. When I feel sad I like to find an activity that makes me happy or find Mummy and give her a big cuddle.’ It’s important we teach boys to recognise their emotions, deal with them, and implement strategies to cope.

Physical affection is so important. As a guy growing up I always heard about this ‘tough love’ approach to parenting and the whole ‘just wait till your Dad gets home’ disciplinary role we were supposed to play. In my career, I’ve worked with a lot of men who have poor emotional regulation or traumatic backgrounds and they all report a lack of being told they are good enough and to be embraced. We do some exercises in prison groups where the men outline what they wish they had more of as children, all of it comes back to being told they were of value just as they were, and wishing they were shown love more.

Thank you, Dean, we’re so appreciative to have your insight!
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Building relationships at Little Scholars

At Little Scholars, we feel strongly it takes a village to raise a child, and we’re very proud to be a part of your child’s community as she or he grows and learns about the world. All of our little scholars learn about emotions in a number of age and developmentally-appropriate ways. It’s a very important facet of our early educational curriculum, supported by the Early Years Learning Framework.

We aim to provide a safe and secure space in which they grow and thrive. To ensure we’re doing this, we’re constantly working to improve our knowledge and practices. Our educators regularly take on professional development that helps them understand and guide children through not only their letters and numbers, but their emotional and social growth, on topics like developing mindfulness practices in their studios, developing frustration tolerance even more specific learnings such as trauma-informed practice. 

Of course, ensuring children’s safety is paramount, and our educators are also regularly trained and updated on Child Protection Policy and procedures.

If you have any questions or concerns about your child, we have an open door policy and we invite you to talk to your educator, educational leader or campus manager any time. 

Little Scholars offers you and your child the very best facilities, resources and early educational, play-based programs available, which are underpinned by the early years learning framework. Our belief is that through quality education and care for children we can also encourage, assist and support the entire family.

Our dedicated team of educators are committed to the individual needs and interests of children and their families, and thus we encourage and welcome family input and involvement.

We aim to be like an extension of your family and are very relationship-driven. We support nurturing relationships between our educators and your child, the relationships your child has with the other children who attend, and we value our relationship with you as the parent and other family members. So book a tour today to get started!

These days, life feels busier, more rushed, more overwhelming, so the need for bringing calm into our bodies and minds has never been more welcome.

We introduced our Little Scholars Mindfulness Program back in 2021, a time when the world was chaotic, and the early learning sector was facing its own unique challenges. While thankfully we’ve moved through that period and the world has adjusted, the importance of mindfulness, yoga, and meditation in early learning remains significant. These practices continue to play a crucial role in helping children develop focus, emotional resilience, and a sense of inner peace that supports their overall growth and wellbeing. But that’s not all these practices offer children.

We’ll share all the benefits mindfulness practices provide children, and we get to speak with Annette Hartland, a former Little Scholars educator who now teaches yoga and meditation full time to young children, including our little scholars. 

Meet Annette
Annette

Annette once worked as an educator in our Ashmore campus, leaving to follow her passion of becoming a yoga instructor. However, achieving her dream meant she actually returned to us in a different capacity, she now leads yoga and meditation practice at several of our campuses and our support office.

We asked Annette how she got started practicing yoga, and what she saw as the benefits of mindfulness practices for children.

 How did you get involved in yoga and what is it like to mix your passion for yoga with your great affection for young children?
It’s been so long that I don’t remember a time in my life when I haven’t practised some type of yoga/meditation. The short story is that my sister asked me to attend classes with her just after my second child was born. I’ve attended regularly ever since. My daughter’s almost 30 years old! Cliche as it sounds, Children are the future. They are inquisitive, flexible in mind and body and are ready to learn. It is vital to nurture this love of learning and develop a discipline of moving within their own space and taking time to be calm and think.

What are the emotional benefits of the practice?
Yoga and meditation practice take you inside yourself to be more aware of the movement of your breath, your body and your mind. We use the breath to be able to deal with situations calmly. One deep inhalation and a long exhalation remind us to pause to consider all the possibilities. Yoga teaches that all living beings are connected. This has a positive benefit for all living creatures. The children feel the difference between moving, being still and being relaxed.

What are the physical benefits?
Move it or lose it is the simplest answer. Children become aware of how much space they like at particular times eg. resting by themselves, partner poses, time to move with wide arms and stance or just a little space around their body. They develop concentration to maintain balance, they strengthen their muscles and become more flexible. We love moving rigorously and then freezing – the difference between effort and ease, mobile and relaxed.

What have you witnessed after teaching yoga with the children?
After teaching certain breathwork or postures, which I learned through the Zenergy yoga therapy course, the children settle more easily and are able to participate with more awareness. Some children are more aware of others and volunteer to be giving of themselves.

Do you have any advice for parents on bringing more mindfulness at home?
Take the time to be present to your children for a while each day, at least 10 minutes. No TV or telephones or music – just you and your child. Take a walk in nature, gaze at the stars, sit with a pet, cuddle on the couch and chat or be silent or breathe together. Listen, smell, taste, touch, feel … connect. This makes precious memories with your children.

The benefits of yoga for children
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As mentioned, one facet of our mindfulness program is offering our little scholars yoga sessions delivered by experts like Annette, and as she says, yoga offers a multitude of benefits for emotional and physical development, backed by research.

On the physical side, yoga enhances flexibility, coordination, balance, and posture. Yoga requires our full attention, requiring us to focus on the present and be fully aware of what our body is doing at any one time. It also helps develop fine and gross motor skills, guiding us to learn to control breathing, our stance and where we’re putting our weight, and flowing through to the next posture.

On the emotional side, by focusing on movement, balance, breathing and everything else that yoga requires of us means that we’re fully present in the moment,  practicing self-awareness and mindfulness, reducing stress and any outside ‘noise’, promoting relaxation, bringing a sense of calm and wellbeing. In turn, this means we’re developing emotional regulation and resilience.

For children who are just learning how to interpret and manage their emotions, this is a fantastic way for them to deal with life’s challenges big and small.

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Breathing to calm

Another and even easier way to bring more mindfulness to our day-to-day that anyone, including children, can do is practice breathing techniques to calm the mind and body. Here are some of our favourite breathing techniques for children.

1. Ask children to lie on the floor and place a small object, such as a soft toy or bean bag on their belly. Get them to place their hands by their side and breathe normally, watching the object go up and down. You could count as they inhale and exhale ‘breathe in 1, 2, 3, breathe out 1,2,3.’

2. Print or cut out some square, rectangle or triangle shapes and give one to each child. Ask the children to trace their finger around the shape, breathing in while moving their finger along one edge of the shape, hold their breath for a few seconds before breathing out, while tracing around the next side of the shape. Repeat this a number of times. 

Children can also use their own hand as the shape, using a finger on the other hand to trace up the side of a finger while breathing in and down the other side of the finger while breathing out, before moving on the next finger.

3. While sitting comfortably, model for the children how to create a circle shape with their hands and ask them to imagine that inside the circle is a mug of hot chocolate. Ask the children to breathe in slowly to smell the hot chocolate, and then blow out slowly to cool it down, repeating this a number of times.

Research:

Yoga for Children and Young People’s Mental Health and Well-Being: Research Review and Reflections on the Mental Health Potentials of Yoga: Ingunn Hagen and Usha S. Nayar, Department of Psychology, Norwegian University of Science and Technology, NTNU, Trondheim, Norway New School University, New York, USA

The effects of yoga on mental health in school-aged children: A Systematic Review and Narrative Synthesis of Randomised Control Trials, Kirti Khunti, Sadie Boniface, Emma Norris, Cesar M De Oliveira, and Nicola Shelton, University College London (UCL), London, UK, Kings College London, London, UK,
Brunel University, London, UK

Scoping Review of Yoga in Schools: Mental Health and Cognitive Outcomes in Both Neurotypical and Neurodiverse Youth Populations, Niamh Hart, Samantha Fawkner, Ailsa Niven, Josie N Booth,  University of Edinburgh

Over the past couple of months, we have started to launch woodworking stations at our campuses! But why, you may ask. It’s dangerous! They could get hurt! At Little Scholars, we actively guide children through ‘risky’ activities to build up their skills, confidence, and resilience. Engaging in woodworking helps children learn to assess and manage risks, develop fine motor skills, and boost their creativity and problem-solving abilities. By introducing these activities in a controlled and supervised environment, we ensure they gain valuable life skills while staying safe.

 The children at our Ashmore campus were the first to start their own project by wanting to build a frame. The children and their educators devised a plan for the project and took a trip down to their local Bunnings to source their own tools and materials, and completed their project over the week!
Skills learned through using tools

Woodworking is an excellent way for children to exercise their creative, practical and critical thinking skills. It allows them to express their ideas and figure out solutions to their projects.

As they measure, cut, and assemble pieces of wood, they enhance their hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills. These activities require precision and control, which are crucial for writing, drawing, and other tasks. Furthermore, using tools like hammers, saws, and sandpaper teaches them how to handle and manipulate objects with care and accuracy.

Confidence and resilience

Guiding children through woodworking activities helps build their confidence and resilience. Completing a woodworking project, no matter how simple, gives children a sense of accomplishment and boosts their self-esteem. They learn that they can create something tangible and useful with their own hands. Additionally, the process often involves overcoming challenges and solving problems, which teaches persistence and resilience. These qualities are essential for tackling academic challenges and life’s obstacles.

 

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Planning and assessment

Our little scholars begin their woodworking projects by making a plan. This may look like drawing out their project, or making a model out of cardboard or building blocks,  discussing with their friends and educators what they’d like to build, how they’d like it to look, what tools they need in order to make their design come to life, and figure out any risks there may be and how to reduce chances of hurting themselves.

Risk management

Introducing woodworking in a controlled environment allows children to learn about risk management. They are taught how to use tools safely, understand the potential dangers, and take appropriate precautions. This hands-on experience with ‘risky’ activities helps them develop a healthy respect for safety and risk assessment. They learn to think ahead, plan their actions, and make informed decisions to minimise risks, which are valuable skills both in and out of the workshop.

Some of their documented conversations with educators have included:

How can we make sure we are safe when using the tool table?

“You have to wear safety glasses.”

“If you step on a nail you can hurt your feet.”

“It can’t be too busy, I might knock something over or into someone and hurt them.”

What do you do at the tool table?

“I can measure the wood.”

“When I’m at the table I use the screwdriver.”

“I use nails to put in the wood.”

How does it make you feel when you build at the tool table?

“I like tools because I can screw something in.”

“I feel happy because I can make something.”

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Creativity and problem-solving

Woodworking supports creativity and problem-solving skills. As children design and build their projects, they must think creatively to overcome design challenges and find solutions. This process encourages them to experiment, explore new ideas, and think outside the box. The ability to approach problems creatively and develop innovative solutions is a real skill in today’s world, where adaptability and innovation are highly valued.

Educational value

In addition to the practical skills, woodworking integrates educational concepts such as maths and science. Measuring pieces of wood, calculating dimensions, and understanding geometric shapes are all part of the woodworking process. Children also learn about the properties of different materials and the principles of mechanics and engineering. This hands-on application of academic subjects helps to reinforce their learning and makes these concepts more tangible and understandable.

By providing children with the opportunity to engage in woodworking, we are equipping them with a wide range of skills and experiences that will benefit them throughout their lives. Through careful supervision and guidance, we ensure that they can enjoy the benefits of this fun activity safely.

Each child comes into the world with a unique temperament, or personal way of engaging with their surroundings. One key aspect of this temperament is how a child reacts to new experiences and people they haven’t met before. While some children are naturally at ease and dive straight into unfamiliar settings, others are more reserved and require additional time and support from attentive adults to feel secure in new situations.

We’ve all encountered them, the little ones who hang back a bit, observing the world from a safe distance before stepping in. Perhaps they clam up and don’t say a word, even when they’re encouraged to say hi. Whether it’s at a family gathering, coming to Little Scholars for the day, a playdate, or even in their own home, these children often take their time to warm up to both familiar faces and new acquaintances. While it’s easy to label them as ‘shy,’ ‘reserved,’ or even ‘standoffish,’ these terms can be misleading and, at times, unfairly stigmatising. The implication with terms like these often is that there’s something wrong with the child or some problem they need to outgrow.

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Understanding the nuances of a slow-to-warm-up temperament is crucial, not just for parents but for anyone who interacts with children. These children aren’t necessarily shy or unsociable; rather, they have their own unique way of engaging with the world around them. And contrary to some misconceptions, their reserved nature isn’t a sign of rudeness or obnoxiousness. These children simply need time to observe a situation, time to figure out how things work, space to decide whether they feel comfortable with someone, and respect for their right to move at their own speed. In fact, if they feel pressured to change, then they can turn into shy people, as shyness often is based in a fear of being judged negatively.

Research tells us the brain grows tells us that children learn best when they feel safe and relaxed. Feeling safe helps their brains become more flexible, making it easier for them to learn new things. On the other hand, stress and worry can make learning more difficult. So it’s important to create safe and comfortable spaces where children can focus on learning. For all the reasons above,  children who warm up to others gradually are precisely those who could benefit the most from a little extra understanding and support from parents, caregivers, and other trusted adults in their lives.

One American study evaluated the usefulness of slow-to-warm-up temperament as conceptualised by Thomas and Chess in predicting child and maternal parenting behaviors, with a particular focus on its conceptual link to child inhibition. The study included 1,072 mothers and their children in the NICHD Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development. The study found that slow-to-warm-up temperament in infancy did predict later inhibition. Specifically, ‘shy’ toddlers whose mothers are overprotective or overly forceful demonstrated more inhibition in childhood than shy toddlers whose mothers do not demonstrate such parenting styles. The study also found that maternal sensitive and stimulating/supportive parenting was associated with less shyness in early childhood for children who were slow-to-warm-up in infancy.

It also found slow-to-warm-up infants with high quality interactions with their mothers may be less likely than slow-to-warm-up infants with low quality interactions with their mothers to demonstrate inhibition in early childhood. So while it may be hard for parents who are not slow-to-warm up themselves to understand their child’s feelings, it’s important for them to understand what their child needs to feel comfortable. The style of parenting used with a slow-to-warm up child can affect them long into childhood and beyond.

So, how can we create an environment that not only respects their natural disposition but also empowers them to overcome feelings of anxiety or discomfort? How can we help them muster the courage to engage more freely with others, enriching their social experiences and emotional development?

Preparing for situations with your child

Children who are slow to warm up often feel more at ease when they know what’s coming. This could be anything from going to a friend’s birthday party to a visit to the dentist. You can help them get ready by:

  • Showing them photos or short clips of where you’re going or what you’ll be doing
  • Use pretend play to practice the activity at home before you go
  • If you can, visit the place before the actual event. That’s why Little Scholars playdates once you enrol can help your child begin to feel more comfortable with new surroundings
  • Go over the day’s plan so they know what activities are lined up and what’s expected of them. Even simple things, like changing into sport clothes before sport, or what happens at the dentist, should be mentioned
  • Consider reading books or watching videos that show similar experiences
  • Practice beforehand with role play. This helps to bring your child to that mindset before they are in that actual place, so that when the time comes, they’ve had a dress rehearsal.

Before going into a situation you suspect might be hard for your child to warm up, prepare them for what they can do when they get there by saying something like, ‘when we walk in, it may feel like a lot of people are there, when everyone comes to say hi, if you’re not ready, you can smile and wave.’

When in the moment where your child is still assessing the situation they’re in, you could say to your child something like, ‘You don’t have to answer, but if you want to, here’s a game. If you’re having a good time at this party, touch your nose, if you’re not, stomp your feet!” This helps warm the child up without feeling like they have to speak and help them get past the feeling of ‘freezing up’ and you might even get a smile out of them.

The strengths of the slow-to-warm-up child

Being someone who is a little more gradual in building comfort around others is not a negative trait, and it shouldn’t be treated as such. Children who are slow to warm up possess a unique set of strengths that make them truly special. Not only are they keen observers, picking up on nuances that might escape others, but they also demonstrate exceptional impulse control, carefully considering their actions before taking the plunge.

While they may have a selective circle of friends, their loyalty to those with whom they connect is unwavering. Their empathetic nature allows them to tune into the feelings of others, making them excellent listeners and compassionate companions.

Once they find their comfort zone, these children are every bit as joyful and adventurous as their peers. Additionally, their cautious approach often makes them excellent problem-solvers, as they take the time to assess situations thoroughly. Their introspective nature also lends itself to deep thinking, allowing them to engage meaningfully in activities and conversations.

There’s an opportunity there to lift up the cautious child as you observe them in these situations. Maybe by telling them you admire how they read the room before they move forward, or highlighting when they took a big step of approaching someone first,  then asking them how they felt afterward. This shows your child you’re always in their corner, and helps them build up those feelings of safety and confidence.

Building relationships at Little Scholars

Kristen, a lead educator in the early learner studio at Little Scholars Pacific Pines, says that building relationships through play is key, especially when a child starts with us for the first time.

“Play is the language of children,” Kristen says. “We are always on the child’s level offering support and companionship without expecting them to return or respond immediately. Through observations and learning stories we share how we celebrate even the smallest achievements such as a child engaging in a group activity alongside peers.”

Kristen says family involvement is really important, as our families know our little scholars best.

“We remember that every child is unique, and the key to helping slow-to-warm-up children is individualised attention and care. We work closely with families to bring children’s interests and special talents from home into their Little Scholars environment.”

Raylene, lead educator at our Yatala campus, agrees.

“One of the most useful, however overlooked strategies that I’ve used in my time as an educator is to build strong relationships with parents. When children see their parents positively engaging with a person, they begin to see that person as someone they too can connect with. Having a good relationship with families also provides the platform to initiate open, meaningful and welcomed communications whether it’s light social banter or a need to develop collaborative care strategies for their child.”

Ray also says it’s important for educators, parents and other people who interact with children to attune themselves to the child’s temperament.

“As educators it’s crucial to ensure that we are attuning to the children in our care at every stage of their life so they feel recognised and supported to become the capable little humans they were born to be at a pace that is natural for them.

“We can do this by being intentionally present in our interactions, which in turn gives us the opportunity to identify their emotional cues whether it’s from their words, behaviours or body language. We can continue developing this safe space for children and support them to feel seen, heard, understood and validated by ensuring we are genuinely responsive; actively listening to them and addressing their need in a way that allows them to feel content. It’s about not only recognising, but facilitating for each child as the individuals they are to build a trusting relationship and safe environment.”

Understanding and supporting children with a slow-to-warm-up temperament is a collective effort that involves parents, caregivers, and educators. At Little Scholars, we’re committed to creating an environment that respects and nurtures each child’s unique way of engaging with the world. By taking the time to understand these special little ones, we can help them flourish, turning their cautious observations into confident explorations. Rather than treat your child’s temperament as something that should be excused or apologised for, we should celebrate the strengths of these thoughtful, empathetic, and deeply introspective children, and offer them the understanding and support they deserve. After all, they might just be the careful thinkers, loyal friends, and compassionate leaders of tomorrow.

Tips for coming to Little Scholars with your little one who needs time to warm up

  • You’re bringing your child into Little Scholars for the day. The yard is already full of action, children running around, it’s noisy and might be overwhelming for a child who needs a bit of time to be comfortable.
    If possible, allow plenty of time to get there so you’re relaxed, not rushed
  • Arrive early so you and your child can be some of the first to enter the space. That will be so much better for them than arriving in a studio that is already full of children running around, making noise, possibly crowding other children
  • Let your child come in gradually, and engage slowly when they’re ready. You may sit together in the yard for a while before they decide to play
  • If an educator greets your child, don’t push your child to respond. If the educator asks a question, give your child time to respond – try not to jump in too quick to answer for them
  • It would be a good idea to talk to your child’s educator before his or her first day, away from ear shot, to let them know that your child is slow to warm and give suggestions on what seems to help.
  • Take care not to apologise for your child’s temperament. If a child always hears their parent say ‘sorry – he’s shy’, when your child hears this summary of their disposition, it could result in him or her acting in ways that confirm the expectations
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Come and see the Little Scholars difference

Let us hold your hand and help looking for a child care centre. Leave your details with us and we’ll be in contact to arrange a time for a ‘Campus Tour’ and we will answer any questions you might have!

Come and see the Little Scholars difference

Let us hold your hand and help looking for a child care centre. Leave your details with us and we’ll be in contact to arrange a time for a ‘Campus Tour’ and we will answer any questions you might have!