Wondering how to start your baby on solids? Introducing solids is an exciting milestone for you and your baby! Around six months of age, most babies are ready to explore new tastes and textures alongside breastmilk or formula. At Little Scholars, we support families through this journey, whether you choose purees or baby-led weaning with soft whole foods.
Most babies show signs of readiness for solids around six months. Look for these cues:
Sitting up with minimal support
Showing interest in your food
Opening their mouth for a spoon or reaching for food
Losing the tongue-thrust reflex (pushing food out of their mouth automatically) Though as babies begin to take in food, this instinct may remain until they get used to it.
Whatever way you approach the first tastes, go slow and offer just a couple of teaspoon-sized portions at first. Hand them a spoon to let them hold, though they’ll likely just eat (squish) with their fingers
You can start by offering food once a day alongside their normal amount of breast milk or formula, then work your way up over the coming weeks to three or more feedings a day.
To help babies adjust to the unique tastes of foods, one approach we like starting with vegetables for the first 14 days, one new, iron-rich vegetable each day. This helps develop a taste for nutritious foods before introducing fruit or other sweet flavours, as they’re already accustomed to sweet flavours through formula or breast milk.
Queensland Health recommends including iron-rich foods every day to help baby grow well, such as lean meat and legumes, baby cereal with iron, and green leafy vegetables. Of course, you’ll need to work up to these denser foods. It’s also recommended to introduce nuts into diets soon, as this can help reduce allergies. However please note we do not offer nut products at our campuses.
We support both traditional purees and baby-led weaning (BLW). Here’s how they differ:
Purees: Smooth textures, spoon-fed by a parent or educator, with gradually thicker consistencies over time.
Baby-led weaning: Soft, whole foods in safe shapes that babies can pick up and feed themselves, encouraging independence and coordination.
Regardless of your approach, always supervise your baby while they eat and offer soft, easy-to-swallow foods. At our campuses, babies are closely supervised during meals and snacks, but we also use these as opportunities to bond, having lots of fun interactions and conversations with our little ones while they eat!
Offer solids when your baby is alert and in a good mood
Start with small amounts. A teaspoon or two is plenty at first
Encourage exploration. Expect mess, it’s part of the learning process!
Be patient. Some babies take time to adjust to new textures
Watch for allergies. Introduce new foods one at a time, leaving a few days in between common allergens like eggs, dairy, or nuts.
At Little Scholars, we help families introduce solids in a way that works for them. Our educators can support your baby with purees or baby-led weaning while ensuring meals are safe, nutritious, and enjoyable. We work closely with families to understand preferences and keep you informed about your baby’s progress.
Starting solids is an exciting step in your baby’s development. With patience, variety, and support, mealtimes can be a wonderful experience for both of you!
We aim to be an extension of your family and are here to support you and your child during those important childhood milestones. If you’re in need of high quality early childhood education for your little ones in South East Queensland, book a tour today.
Babies are a mysterious bunch. For many months, their main forms of communication are cries, squeaks, gestures and coos. Parents fall madly in love with these little humans without knowing what they’re thinking and feeling, often just guessing at best.
How babies play, how and what they’re learning, and what they’re interested in can be a mystery to many. Many parents have seen their baby pull out every book off a shelf, for example, watch it fall, then grab another, while that parent scratches his or her head and says ‘why?’
There’s an answer. It’s a schema. A schema is both a category of knowledge as well as the process of acquiring that knowledge. In play, babies are often involved in repeated actions or certain behaviours as they explore the world around them and try to find out how things work. Those repetitive actions, such as a baby pulling out book after book, allows a child to practice and construct meaning to something, until they’ve understood that schema. Then they find something else to focus on and lather, rinse, repeat!
As Yvette, educational lead from our Burleigh campus says, it’s children’s development making sense.
“All of those little things that you see children do that seem a bit cute, or frustrating even, like throwing, it’s a schema, a child’s pathway of development for making sense of the world,” Yvette says.
The repetitive action of a schema allows a child to practice and construct meaning until they have mastered the understanding of the schema. Being aware of play schemas helps in two ways:
There are a number of types of schemas when it comes to babies.
Trajectory schema – The trajectory schema is one of the earliest schemas observed in babies. They are fascinated with how they, and objects move. Children will often throw objects or food from their pram or highchair. They climb and jump in puddles and enjoy exploring running water.
Transporting schema – Little ones enjoy repeatedly moving resources around, from one place to another. They will carry many items at a time using their hands, pockets, containers,
baskets, bags, or anything else that will hold their newfound treasures.
Enclosing schema – Children show an interest in enclosed spaces. They may want to sit (and hide in) boxes or laundry baskets. Or they may show interest constructing fences and barricades to enclose toy animals or themselves.
Rotational schema – Children showing a rotational schema may display a preference for turning taps on and off, winding and unwinding string, and playing with
hoops. They may also be fascinated with the physical experience of twirling and twisting their body, spinning around on the spot, or rolling themselves down a hill. They have an interest in things that turn, such as wheels and windmills. They enjoy rolling tyres around, turning lids and watching the washing machine on a spin cycle.
Enveloping schema – Children with an enveloping schema are interested in covering and hiding items, including themselves. They will enjoy dressing up, and filling and emptying bags and containers with different objects.
Connecting schema – Children displaying the connecting schema want to join items together. They find resources like string to tie things. They connect and disconnect toys such as rail tracks.
They enjoy construction toys, and doing arts and crafts where they can glue and stick pieces together.
Orientation schema – Children like to turn objects and themselves around and upside down, to get a view from under the table or from the branch of a tree. They may bend over and look at the world backwards through their legs. They enjoy seeing things from a different view when exploring using cardboard tubes, binoculars or a magnifying glass.
By adapting this theory, we have been able to slow down and become more in tune to the children and noticing their behaviour patterns in play. It is now so important to us that we allow our babies and young children the time to explore the repetitive actions of schematic play.
-Jodie, lead educator
Jean Piaget was one of the first to use the term “schema” back in 1923. Piaget was an important child development theorist and his Theory of Cognitive Development was and still is read and followed today by early childhood specialists. He was one of the first who believed children think differently than adults and that they have an innate desire to learn and actively build up their knowledge about the world. They are not passive creatures waiting for someone to teach them.
Susan, our group pedagogical leader, is bringing her schema knowledge across our campuses to the lead educators in the nursery and toddler studios in 2023. Learn a bit more below about how we use schema theory, and how one educator has taken it on in her nursery.
Schematic Pedagogy
Through our collective curriculum, our educators are guided through a ‘schematic lens’, meaning they can plan for children’s thinking, not just activities. This has a strong link to our Collective Curriculum, our educational program for children.
The learning environment
Our educators apply teaching methodologies to design their play spaces and are intentional in the resources offered.
Observing and planning for children’s thinking
Through our collective curriculum, our educators observe the children through their play, to determine schemas explored through the children’s engagement to an activity or resource. Through observing patterns of learning, our trained educators can plan forward to scaffold their cognitive capabilities.
Partnering with children in play
Through ongoing mentoring and coaching, our educators are able use their knowledge of schemas and plan effectively. Our educators are encouraged to partner with children in their play and observe behaviours explored through schemas.
“Schemas are an intrinsic part of child development, knowledge to schemas provide our team of educators an opportunity to identify and encourage independence in children as they explore patterns of movement, often related to schemas,” Susan says. “Supporting assessing through a schematic lens, provides our educators with a framework which can be used to analyse children’s learning, supporting the planning process within our curriculum.”
You may be wondering if you have a baby or a small toddler in one of our campuses, how we use schemas to help their development. We talked to one of the educators at our Deception Bay campus about using schemas for educational programming. Deception Bay Little Scholars was recently rated as Exceeding the National Quality Standard (NQS) after it was assessed by the Department of Education. The NQS sets a high national benchmark for early childhood education and care in Australia. Jodie, lead educator in the nursery studio, says learning about schemas was a game-changer.
Both our younger babies and older babies really enjoy dropping objects or putting things in and out of containers (vertical trajectory). Using old formula tins and cutting an opening in the top with lids from jar foods a milk bottle lids, is a big favourite.
Our older babies are seen continuing with trajectory and begin to start exploring other forms of schematic play like, transporting, rotation, connecting and this can lead to a disconnecting schema where the child builds something that they can demolish or through [activities like] untying knots, as well as enclosing, positioning, enveloping and orientation, such as looking at things from different viewpoints like hanging upside down, looking through their legs, looking at things upside down. No wonder our little people are so busy and on the go all the time!
Thanks, Jodie!
Related:
Pedagogical Practices: Bringing new learning techniques to Little Scholars
When a baby or toddler is ready to reduce the number of naps they have each day, or even drop naps altogether, this can be an equally challenging transition for parents!
Daytime naps naturally lessen in length and frequency as a child gets older because they can tolerate more awake time, from both a physiological and neurological perspective as they grow. Circadian rhythms – your 24-hour body clock that helps control your daily schedule for sleep and wakefulness – also mature as sleep begins to consolidate, particularly at night.
Especially for new parents, you may be wondering what some of the signs are that your child is ready to drop a nap. Dropping a nap is a transition that happens over time. Babies need to decrease their number of naps incrementally, but that won’t happen on its own, babies and toddlers still need your guidance to help ease these changes. And our educators are here to help.
Since our educators spend a few days a week with your little one, they have the knowledge of what to look for in signs of tiredness, or readiness to stay awake just a little longer! It’s important to remember that each child is different. What works for one, won’t work for another exactly the same age or way, and this is not a process to rush, small people need their rest!
Here are some signs that may show your little one is ready to drop a nap:
“For some children, cutting down their bottles or altering their times they have bottles (obviously age-appropriate) may help with stretching wake windows,” says Hayley, an educator with our Deception Bay campus.
“We aim to wake the child through gentle means, such as hustle and bustle around them to help them wake more naturally, which can help too.”
Hayley says looking at wake windows as a guide for your child can help and you can find free resources and blogs by sleep experts online. But she says keep in mind small children going through leaps and teething may have more difficulty with their sleep, but these adjustments are usually temporary.
Keeara, an educator in the nursery at our Yatala campus says they’ve had some parents request help in stretching their child’s nap to one sleep to transition in the toddler room.
They find play in an outdoor environment during the morning keeps little ones occupied enough to stay awake – but says if their children did fall asleep, it was obviously needed, and educators will try for a short afternoon nap to make up for it.
Fresh air and active fun like sensory activities are a great way to stretch that wake time out a little longer for little ones. Maybe for your child, it’s making music or playing with different textures that will keep him or her engaged and interested just a little longer.
Our Facebook and Instagram channels offer ideas on creative activities our educators do across our campuses to entertain little ones, which can really help stretch out those wake windows.
Like Hayley, Keeara and her fellow educators have also found works is having lunch around 11:30 and putting bottles on the warmer at the same time so they’re ready to go when lunch is finished.
“We’ve found most of the children would have their bottle then self-settle in their cots as they were so exhausted at this point,” Keeara says. “Surprisingly, it worked really well and made the transition smoother, they even slept for a longer period of time having just the one sleep.”
Then comes the (often dreaded by parents) time when children are ready to drop naps completely.
“We have a fair few two-three-year-olds in our room who have dropped sleep,” says Skye, an educator at our Yatala campus. “The most common sign for them was becoming upset at rest time, moving around a lot and getting up for drinks, toilet and to just tell us something.”
She says even if educators suspect a child is ready to drop naps, they start off with still giving the child a bed, but giving them a quiet activity like books, puzzles, or drawing supplies.
“That way they still have the option to fall asleep if they want to, if they haven’t slept the whole week, we then move them to an activity mat that we keep clear of beds, again for quiet activities while their peers sleep,” Skye says.
Independent play is also important for your child’s development, and it’s central to effective quiet time, so it’s worthwhile implementing it into your older toddler’s daily routine. Quiet time is a time during the day where your child has an opportunity to rest their busy little bodies and minds. The length of quiet time can range anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours, depending upon the child, but consistency in this new quiet time will work wonders for the whole family.
Skye says dropping naps is something they talk to parents about, and from those discussions, they work together on a plan to help the child adjust.
So you’ve decided to send your child to early learning – how exciting!
For first-time parents, preparing for this new chapter involves more than just packing a backpack, it means understanding key essentials like the Child Care Subsidy (CCS). Navigating the CCS can seem daunting, but fear not! We’ve written a comprehensive guide to help demystify the process to help you understand how to maximise this support for your family’s benefit.
Here in this CCS explainer, we will lay out everything you need to know about and to apply for CCS, making it easier for you to support your child’s educational adventure.
Did you know you can apply for the Child Care Subsidy (CCS) before you enrol your child in early learning?
Wait, what’s CCS? The Child Care subsidy is assistance to help families with the cost of childcare. Your child’s day in early learning is payable by a daily fee charged by the centre. The government may cover some of this fee, depending on your individual circumstances. This is what is referred to as the ‘subsidy’.
You may be eligible for the Child Care Subsidy if you meet a number of factors. The Child Care Subsidy (CCS) changed in July 2024 for families earning under $533,280. The percentage of CCS will vary depending on your family’s income, and the income limit to receive the maximum allowed CCS will increase as well. For families whose income is up to $83,280, you could receive up to 90% from the CCS toward your child’s daily fee.
If you have two or more children in care, subsequent children are eligible for a higher subsidy than the first child. For families who earn a total income of up to $141,321, those children will receive 95% from CCS off your daily fee.
There are several requirements to qualify for the Child Care Subsidy. You may qualify if:
• You or your partner care for the child a minimum of two nights / fortnight
• You or your partner are responsible for childcare fees
• The child meets immunisation requirements
• You use an approved child care service like Little Scholars!
Once you’re ready for your child to go into early learning, you can apply for CCS!
The CCS works on three factors:
• Your total combined family income
• The service type. This can be long day care, or outside-hours care such as vacation care
• How much ‘work-related’ activity you and your partner undertake each fortnight This includes paid work, volunteering, study and other activities as determined by education.gov.au. Job hunting, studying, starting a new business, volunteering and travel time – among others – are all eligible activities that will allow you to claim subsidised hours of care.
Our website has a handy calculator you can use to get an idea of how much CCS you’ll receive.
Apply for CCS via your MyGov Account, which is linked to Centrelink.
We recommend you do this as soon as you know when you might be sending your little one into early education and care, so it’s all set up and ready to go for your child’s first day. Don’t necessarily wait until you’ve enrolled with an early learning campus, because the entire process may take between four and six weeks, and if it’s not set up when you begin care, you may be paying full fees until it’s all complete.
Once your spot is booked in, confirm your Complying Written Agreement (CWA). When a CWA enrolment notice is created by the campus manager, there are two steps that need to be completed by the family:
1. You will be notified by email that the CWA is ready for you to agree to. A reminder will be sent via email should you not sign within 48 hours
2. Confirm your child’s government enrolment via MyGov. If you do not agree to the government enrolment, CCS cannot be paid.
Finally, we know change can be scary, overwhelming or confusing, as much for our parents as our little ones. We’re here for you from the day you book your tour to the day your child finishes their last day of kindergarten. We can absolutely help you navigate the CCS and other documents you need to help your child become a little scholars. Reach out to your campus manager, admin or any of the leadership team for guidance or further questions.
You’re having a baby! Congratulations! It’s such a thrilling time! But it can also be intimidating, stressful and overwhelming thinking of all things you need to think about and prepare for, before your child even arrives.
Or perhaps you have that sweet child, and while many take a leave of absence from work after baby is born, at some point families have to make the decision if and when they will return to work. That’s when you have to look at early learning and care for your children. Overwhelmed? We’re here to guide you and make life just a little bit easier.
There are several options. Consider what early learning services are nearby and how far you’re willing to travel to drop-off and pick-up. You could even do it during peak hour traffic to get a better idea of how long it might take to get to these locations.
Check out the websites dedicated to listing early learning services such as Starting Blocks, Australia’s free government website dedicated to early childhood, the National Children’s Education and Care Quality Authority (ACECQA) national register or sites like Careforkids.com.au – which share services by location, including pertinent information such as assessment and rating outcomes, what each service offers, contact information and more.
Then, visit websites and start making some calls and book tours. That will be the best way for you to get ideas on philosophies, curriculums, learning and play environments, and they can answer any questions you may have.
Early learning and care providers in Australia have strict educator-to-child ratios, which is for the safety and benefit of both children and their educators, but that can mean spots fill quite quickly in each age and development learning environment, and in high-demand areas, waitlists can fill up quickly. However, don’t let us scare you, many high quality services have spaces available when you need them.
While this sector is thrilled to be able to allow more parents to continue or join the workforce, that does mean demand will be higher for quality early learning and care.
Start early. Contact the campus you’re interested in to see if there is indeed a wait list. Ideally, get names on wait lists at least six months to 12 months before you need care. Often, services will be considering what spots are available for the next year toward the end of the year – October to December. That doesn’t mean if you need care in May that you’re out of luck, but for busy services, thinking of the first of the year as a start time might be realistic. Sometimes, families get their unborn babies on wait lists just to be sure. At Little Scholars, if this is the case for your family, we’ll contact you about one month after your due date to see where your family is with thinking about care for your new addition.
Visit the service before joining the waitlist. Most early learning locations offer tours, you just need to book them in advance to avoid disruption and guaranteeing someone will be able to provide you the time you need to get a feel for the service.
Keep in contact with the service to see how your child is progressing on the wait list.
Some services offer places to families who have been on the waitlist the longest. Some may place internal families first, meaning families who already have a child in their care and are adding additional children. Some services may have a strict “first-in, best-dressed” approach. It’s worth asking what the policy is.
In early learning, a “ratio” refers to the comparison between the number of educators and the number of children they are responsible for supervising, essentially showing how many children each adult is looking after at a given time; it’s a crucial aspect of ensuring children’s safety and wellbeing in an early childhood setting, with different age groups often having different required ratios depending on their developmental needs.
The ratio for our children is as follows:
These ratios adhere to the requirements of the National Quality Framework.
The Child Care Subsidy (CCS) is a government initiative designed to help families manage the cost of early learning. Your child’s time in care is charged as a daily fee by the service, and the government may cover a portion of this cost based on your individual circumstances. This is known as the subsidy.
You can apply for the Child Care Subsidy (CCS) even before enrolling your child in early learning, in fact as long as your child has a birth certificate, you can apply. You then have 13 weeks to activate your CCS with an early learning service. If that time lapses, you can go online to reactivate it.
We have a helpful webpage dedicated to everything you may need to know about CCS!
The benefits of placing small children in early childhood education are numerous. Early learning can help babies develop social skills, motor skills, and cognitive abilities. Because of course, learning doesn’t start when a child begins school, it begins at birth!
Social development
Babies can begin forming connections, learning to share, and developing early communication skills in a supportive environment.
Motor development
Early learning settings provide safe opportunities for babies to explore movement, such as reaching and grasping. These experiences help strengthen motor skills, with research suggesting that babies who engage in active exploration may reach developmental milestones earlier.
Cognitive growth
Exposure to a variety of learning experiences supports cognitive development. Studies indicate that children who participate in early learning programs may develop stronger cognitive abilities compared to those who do not.
School readiness
Early learning helps children prepare for kindergarten by teaching them to follow instructions, interact with peers, and adjust to time away from their parents.
Academic success
Research shows that early education programs can contribute to improved academic achievement in children.
Little Scholars and most early learning services will suggest to parents that they enrol their children at least two days every week in care. Why? Nearly a quarter of Australian children start school without the foundational skills they need in areas like communication, social skills, emotional wellbeing, and physical health.
Attending for at least two years, with a minimum of 15 hours per week, is linked to better literacy and numeracy outcomes that persist into adolescence. High-quality early learning also supports secure attachments with educators, helping children settle and understand routines, and engage more actively with peers.
In our learn and play studios, At Little Scholars, we provide tailored, age-specific early learning and childcare across four key stages: nursery, toddlers, pre-kindy, and kindy. Our expertly designed programs cater to the unique needs and developmental milestones of each age group. Our children learn through play, reflected through our dedicated early learning curriculum.
We understand the bonds young children have with their parents or caregivers. There is no denying that it may not be a smooth process, but we encourage parents to remember all the benefits children gain from attending early learning. Research also proves that having a child in care doesn’t negatively affect the bond with his or her main caregivers.
If you have a little ones who you think may struggle with separating from parents, check out our blog post: Tips and tricks for dealing with separation anxiety
If you as a parent are struggling with feelings of being away from your baby, we have a blog post for you in which we spoke with a clinical psychotherapist for her suggestions: Children aren’t the only ones who deal with separation anxiety
We very much welcome you to chat with us if you or your little one are or may deal with these feelings. You’re not alone and we can support you both through this transition.
If you have any questions or concerns about your child, we have an open door policy and we invite you to talk to your educator, educational leader or campus manager any time.
Little Scholars offers you and your child the very best facilities, resources and early educational, play-based programs available, which are underpinned by the early years learning framework. Our belief is that through quality education and care for children we can also encourage, assist and support the entire family.
Our dedicated team of educators are committed to the individual needs and interests of children and their families, and thus we encourage and welcome family input and involvement.
We aim to be like an extension of your family and are very relationship-driven. We support nurturing relationships between our educators and your child, the relationships your child has with the other children who attend, and we value our relationship with you as the parent and other family members. So book a tour today to get started!
Do you have a child who’s struggling with separation anxiety, especially at when being dropped off at school or early education? Perhaps they’re going through a developmental milestone that makes them need Mum or Dad a bit more than before. This is common starting around six months of age, peaks at 14-18 months, then can happen again when your child hits preschool and school-age. Or maybe your child is new to our service or has recently transitioned studios. The transition from home to early education is a milestone for both children and families. Separation anxiety can even happen for children who’ve been in Little Scholars for a while. It can be hard moving into a new studio where she or he doesn’t yet know new routines, where things are kept and spending time with different educators with different ways of doing things can be overwhelming for the child. This is all normal.
If you’re at a loss on how to make things easier on your little one, and yourself, we have some ideas.
Acknowledge and validate their feelings by saying something like “I know goodbyes can be hard, but I always come back. I will see you later today. I love you.” Give a big hug, a smile and a wink.
Then at home, if your child is old enough, have a chat about why she/he is having a hard time at drop-off, and think about what you can do to alleviate it. Ask him or her what make things easier. Perhaps it’s including a comfort toy, blanket or family photo. Maybe you each have a special bracelet that you can touch when you’re missing each other. Make a plan for something special together when you pick him or her up, like a walk or playing a game together, which will give your child something to look forward to through the day.
If you’re preparing your child to go to early education or school, it’s best they understand what their days will look like. So the conversation could look something like ‘we’ll all have breakfast together and get ready for the day. Then we’ll get in the car and first we’ll stop at Little Scholars. I’ll walk you in, give you a big hug, and you’ll go off to have a day of play while I go to work. When I finish work, I’ll jump in the car and come right over to pick you up, then we’ll go _____” These conversations may have to happen several times for it to sink in.
Also, if you’re pondering signing your child up for early education, this is why we offer play dates to children newly enroled but yet to start – this allows them to begin to become familiar with their new educators and studios.
Remember, you can always chat with your educator or campus manager about how to help. We’re always available, and we’ve been through this before, we can offer ideas or reassurances everyone will be OK!
We also know separation anxiety can be a two-way street, especially for new parents, or returning to work after maternity leave. Don’t forget we have our Little Scholars app so you can see pictures of your child, and be reassured that if there were tears from your child, they likely didn’t last long and they’re busy having fun and learning while you’re at work.
Related links:
Elizabeth Stone, an award-winning essayist and journalist, once captured the essence of parenthood with a poignant quote, ‘Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.’ This statement resonates deeply with many parents, astutely capturing the feelings of boundless love and the inevitable vulnerability that comes with bringing a child into the world.
This overwhelming surge of emotion is particularly intense during those initial moments and first days of separation from your child, often experienced when that child is entrusted to the care of someone else for the first time. It’s a milestone filled with mixed emotions for parents – pride in their growing independence, yet a deep longing to keep them close forever.
While the focus in the first few weeks at early learning facilities is generally on the children and how they’re settling in, an often-forgotten topic is the separation anxiety parents also can feel when they drop their little ones in care for the first time.
In childcare, we offer families tips on how to help children settle in, from suggestions such as: ‘don’t sneak away’, ‘keep goodbyes short’, and ‘maintain calm and confidence’, but what if the child is just fine, but the parents are struggling from the separation?
It’s understandable. If you’re coming off maternity or paternity leave, or perhaps you’ve been the primary parent at home for the last few years, change can be profoundly hard.
What we’re talking about is parental separation anxiety, and it’s more common than you think.
“I experienced separation anxiety with both my children when I dropped them into care for the first time, but I was much more surprised with my feelings the second time around,” says Christina, a communications professional who has two children. “I had to go back to work much earlier the second time around, and I felt a lot of grief for not getting to continue to bond with my son the way I had been, knowing he was my last baby. I also experienced some fears around him attaching to his educators more than me.”
A 2016 study by Pacey UK (the professional association for childcare and early years) reported that out of 1,000 mothers, 70% of mums said they worried about the extent they would miss their children, 90% reported feeling anxious about returning to work after having a child, while nearly half of mums admitted being very anxious.
How can parental separation anxiety manifest itself? Some of the more obvious signs are tears. Anxious feelings. Moodiness. While others you may not notice until they start affecting your life and mental health.
Here are some common indicators of more serious separation anxiety to be aware of:
Ask yourself, what is your biggest fear or worry in separating from your child? The initial step in overcoming these feelings is to acknowledge and understand them. If you’re experiencing heightened anxiety about being apart from your child, it’s important to explore the origins of these feelings. Perhaps they stem from experiences in your life in childhood, or birth trauma, the loss of pregnancy or another child, perinatal or postnatal anxiety/depression and existing anxiety issues, or it may simply be triggered by the act of becoming a parent.
“How does a parent reconcile these feelings of separating from their child? I think what’s important about that one is that often it’s around guilt,” says Sarah Bergman, a clinical psychotherapist at Counselling on the Coast who has more than three decades of experience in emotionally-focused therapy.
“Guilt is really an emotion that comes up when we have like an idealised sense of a situation or who we are. So we feel guilty when we don’t feel we’ve reached what we want to be reaching or we haven’t done what we want to do. I would say to explore those feelings of guilt, what they are, what you feel like you’re not doing for your child or getting right for your child.”
Sarah says those guilty feelings in parents often link back to situations in their own childhood where they felt like their own parents let them down. But the concern is also passing down those guilty or anxious feelings to your child.
“Their own wounds start to muddy the waters of the child’s experience. So the child’s just going to school, but then they feel their parents anxiety and then they also think that something’s wrong then too, which can make them anxious. So if the parents have a good look at themselves around, ‘what was it that my parents got wrong for me? or what was it that wounded me? and how does that now play across on my child?’ So the parents will often work hard to do the things that they don’t want that their children to experience themselves.”
While Sarah says often the guilty feelings stem from what they missed in their own childhood, the opposite could be true.
“Maybe [parents feel they’re] not meeting the ideals of what your parent did for you or what things that you really loved about your parent and now you feel like you’re not getting that right.”
Wherever the feelings stem from, Sarah says, parents may be trying to heal themselves through their relationship with their child. But, she says, a child doesn’t have those wounds. They don’t experience their parents in that same way that perhaps you did. So she surmises parents could be overcompensating for their own childhood pain.
“Those kind of parents are very anxious at feeling like they have to attend to everything with their children because they don’t ever want their children to feel the way that they did,” Sarah summarises.
Consider jotting down your feelings or discussing them with a sympathetic friend or even a colleague who could relate with what you’re currently experiencing. Regardless of how trivial or illogical they might seem, allowing yourself to express and discuss these fears can aid in releasing them.
Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone
Sarah also suggests parents educate themselves on secure attachment, a theory first proposed by the British psychologist, psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst John Bowlby. For children, secure attachment to someone like a mum or dad allows them the secure base necessary to explore, learn and relate, and the well-being, motivation, and opportunity to do so. It’s important for safety, stress regulation, adaptability, and resilience and ultimately can help produce a happy, healthy well-adjusted child.
“If you are securely attached, you will feel less anxious because you will feel comfortable that you can trust, you have a positive view of other people and a positive view of self,” Sarah says. “So you think to yourself, ‘it’s okay. My child is in safe hands. They will let me know. I trust the daycare centre. And I trust myself that I’m doing the right thing by my child and it’s going to be okay and I need to go to work and this is just the way it is.’ Whereas someone who is more anxiously attached sometimes have a bit of a negative view of themself and possibly a bit of negative view of others so they don’t totally trust others, so it’s about trying to move into being more securely attached.”
She also says to have an honest conversation with educators or your campus manager.
“You know, that is actually good secure relating as well, that a parent can actually say, ‘I’m feeling a bit nervous’, or ‘I’m a bit worried about that,’ because they’re asking then, they’re not coping alone.”
Sarah recommends in that conversation, have a chat with educators or your campus manager about what might help to alleviate those anxious feelings, whether it’s a phone call or a text, a few extra pictures – whatever it is, having clear communication can help everyone.
“What helped me was an honest discussion with my son’s lead educator during a playdate. She asked me thoughtful questions about why I was having a hard time, asked how she could help alleviate those feelings for me, and was very mindful to update with lots of pictures, and even checked in on me at pick-up over the next few weeks. It was really helpful, and gave me feelings of trust in leaving my baby with her and her team,” Christina adds.
Those secure attachments we want children to have means we also want them to have bonds with others, such as loving educators.
A child who has had a secure attachment with her parent or another safe adult is more likely to be able to develop lasting successful relationships as an adult. In fact, a New York University study recently found positive, warm relationships between caregivers and children were associated with higher odds of attaining ideal heart health at multiple points across a 20-year span of adulthood, so developing these bonds is good for their health!
Part of early childhood training for educators is understand various child development theories such as attachment theory, so trust that your educators understand what secure attachments – both to parents and others children can trust – mean for children’s development and they work hard to ensure these bonds with your child.
Research has found our adult relationships are shaped by our early patterns of attachment and the ways we learn to deal with closeness and separation.
“Children are very attached to their parents and they love their parents very much. And that is who they want to be with. And if they create an attachment with someone else, that’s lovely. However, ultimately it’s important to keep in mind they will want to be with their parents,” Sarah says.
Sarah also says some of these feelings may be pressure we put on ourselves as parents.
“We don’t actually have to be perfect parents and I think a lot of people are really trying to be perfect parents and wrapping their children in bubble wrap. You just have to be good enough. I think from memory it’s only like around 60 or 70 per cent strike rate of meeting the child’s needs.”
Sarah is referring to the Winnicott theory.
“The good-enough mother is one who makes active adaptation to the infant’s needs, an active adaptation that gradually lessens, according to the infant’s growing ability to account for failure of adaptation and to tolerate the results of frustration.” – D. W. Winnicott, paediatrician and parent-infant therapist.
“We all have to learn that sometimes our needs aren’t going to be met. And that’s actually where we build resilience and we build understanding around that other people have things they need to do as well,” Sarah says. “You don’t have to drop everything to be there for your kids. It’s okay to have ruptures with your children. It’s actually okay because that is a realistic expectation on relationships. We all have ruptures and then we get to learn how to repair those ruptures. But of course, if the child’s fallen over or they’ve hurt themselves or they’re scared at night, you want your strike rate on those things needs to be closer to 100 per cent.
“But otherwise, we don’t have to be so hard on ourselves, we can get it wrong sometimes. We just go back and say, ‘Hey, I’m sorry I got that wrong.’ And then the child also learns that they’re going to get things wrong sometimes, too. They can come to their parent and say, ‘Hey, Mum, sorry about that.’”
If we can offer some advice, it’s what we also suggest to parents when children are having a hard time with separating. Find an activity you can do together outside of care hours that you can look forward to, so you can cherish your time together. Maybe after pick-up, you take your child for a walk or to the park, maybe it’s grabbing a sneaky ice cream after dinner, maybe it’s a game night or story time when you get home. Find ways to really connect with your child in the time you’re together may make the time you’re apart easier to deal with.
Sarah says mindful activities can help in easing anxious feelings. But, she says, if these feelings are taking over, it might be worth talking to a professional as soon as possible. You can talk to your GP about a referral to see a psychologist, or you can book in to a specialist practice such as Sarah’s Counselling on the Coast to have a chat with a psychotherapist.
Please remember, if Little Scholars can help in any way, we will, from offering a listening ear, to phone calls to whatever would help your family, we will. We’re not just here for children, we’re here for the whole family.
If you’re the parent or guardian of a child under five, you’ve probably observed some lies at some point during their young life.
That’s normal and dare we say, developmentally appropriate. We didn’t say it’s OK, but it’s common! Your child isn’t headed for a life of crime and incarceration, so you can now let out a sigh of relief. And there are certainly things you can do to help lead your child to a more honest way of communicating!
But from a developmental perspective, a blog shared by Early Childhood Australia confirms that lying in young children is rarely cause for concern.
From the ECA blog: “lying is often one of the first signs a young child has developed a “theory of mind”, which is the awareness others may have different desires, feelings, and beliefs to oneself. When a child misleadingly claims “Daddy said I could have an ice cream”, they’re using this awareness of others’ minds to plant false knowledge.”
Children can start lying by the time they start stringing sentences together, between the ages of two and four. The tales they tell may get more elaborate from the age of roughly four and up, as they start to understand what may be more likely to be believed, as their understanding of how others might think and interpret what they say gets more sophisticated.
But the reason behind the lies could also be far less sinister than you think it might be.
Perhaps, your child is just looking to be seen. It might be that they’re feeling invisible to you, and to really get your attention, to get you to make a big deal out of something in their lives, they need to make their story bigger. It can be easier for adults to think their problems, concerns and issues are so much bigger and more important than a child’s, but important to whom?
Interestingly, research has found that while almost all children lie at some point, they also have a pretty clear understanding young that lying is wrong. Kay Bussey from Macquarie University, found that children as young as four years of age rated ‘lies about misdeeds as being very bad and that the liar would feel guilty for telling such a lie. Furthermore, they rated this type of lie more negatively than other types of lies and even misdeeds themselves.’
So, children not yet school-aged do understand right from wrong, yet they do it anyway.
How might a parent react to this that would be an effective way to tamp down the untrue stories children sometimes tell?
One way to approach children lying, according to Jess Vanderwier, an American psychotherapist, is to come at it with curiosity and compassion.
Vanderwier’s strategies include:
Finally she says when your child tells the truth, especially in difficult situations, praise them for their courage and honesty. Noticing their honesty can encourage more truth-telling in the future.
Sometimes children lie or keep secrets to hide serious issues, such as experiencing harm or witnessing harm to others. For instance, children who have been abused by adults or bullied by peers might lie because they fear consequences or feel unsafe speaking up.
If you suspect your child is lying to protect someone or themselves:
Creating a safe environment is key to encouraging honesty and addressing any underlying issues. This is something that should be done all the time, not just when honesty is questioned.
Please know children’s safety is paramount to us. If we at Little Scholars suspect a child is being harmed, we have a duty of care to and will report it.
Teaching children emotional awareness, in themselves and recognising emotions in others, is an important part of children’s growth and wellbeing. Understanding emotions is also not something ingrained, and not necessarily an easy thing to teach or grasp, especially as these small humans’ brains are rapidly developing in all areas.
In children, all kinds of changes are happening at the same time, and some areas, such as children’s language skills, develop before their self-regulation skills. This means that while your child may have a broad vocabulary, they still may not be able to put into words how they’re feeling. A toddler’s capacity to regulate their emotional state and emotional reactions can affect everyone around them, and can carry on to academic performance, long-term mental health, and their ability to thrive in a complex world.
Helping children to identify and label emotions is an important first step and something Little Scholars focuses on in our educational programming. Small children do not yet have the vocabulary to identify feeling words like angry or frustrated, or have the skills to “read” facial cues or to interpret body language.
Even the littlest Scholars are learning emotional intelligence by communicating how they feel, according to Jodie, a lead educator in the nursery studio at Deception Bay.
“If a child is expressing an emotion or a behaviour, [we question] is it because they need something from us? ‘I can see you’re feeling sad, how come you’re feeling sad?'” Jodie says. “If we begin to speak to the babies about what they’re feeling, information I’ve learned from [child psychologist] Justin Coulson, it will relate to five things, either them being hungry, angry, lonely, tired or stressed. It’s often one of those things that will cause big emotions.
“They’re obviously not able to completely communicate with us on what their needs are. I’ve learned not to ask the children what they want, but what do they need?” she says. “Maybe they’re feeling hungry and frustrated, so offering them an apple could work, where they can get some of that anger out through crunching. Maybe they’re feeling tired, but they need a little more comfort first. What other feelings are they feeling?”
At our Burleigh campus, children and educators have feelings chats as part of their morning routine. In the Toddler studio, children ask their educators questions such as ‘why is she angry?’ providing a great opportunity for further conversation. Educators support the children in understanding their emotions through discussions as part of their morning routine.
“During the morning, we will sit down for our morning meeting [with children] so when we come inside, we’ll ask how they’re feeling, they’ll express how they’re feeling – happy, sad, ‘good’, and throughout the day we’ll do activities and they’ve gotten really good at recognising and showing those emotions,” says Sasha, lead educator in the Toddler 2 studio. “It’s crazy to see how much they can take in and understand.
“It’s harder for some of the younger ones [to grasp], but we still try to get them involved by asking ‘how do you think that person looks in the photo?’ or ‘how could we make that person feel better?’ and get them to try to understand how others may be feeling,” Sasha continues. “They’re getting really good at being able to understand their own emotions, and we try to support them in how they can support themselves if they are feeling sad, or feeling overwhelmed and need space. Next year they’ll be learning more about how others feel and how we can help them.”
Raylene, an educator in the senior kindy studio at our Yatala campus, says the benefits of exploring emotions, all emotions including the hard ones, allows children to not only identify them but develop the skills to go through them.
“One child mentioned that she would cry all day if she couldn’t see her mummy again. Mr J mentioned that he gets angry when he can’t find his treasures. Mr T doesn’t like when Mummy drops him off etc which led to a discussion about developing strategies to cope with these emotions when they occur. [It’s] so powerful. Mr J said that he could take a big breath and then think about where he put his treasures. Miss K said that she would give her sister a big hug if she couldn’t hug Mummy. Mr T said he could come with Miss Ray,” says Raylene. “Ensuring educators create opportunities for children to communicate their feelings and then giving children the tools to not only identify them, but develop strategies to manage them, rather than saying ‘you’re OK’ is the power moment.”
Tori, an educator at the same campus agrees.
Jodie is right. Research shows that children who learn how to understand emotions in themselves and others are better able to regulate their own responses to strong emotions. Helping children to identify and label emotions is an important first step, and this is supported by the Early Years Framework in helping children develop a strong sense of identity.
Further information
We adore the endless stream of questions that little ones bring to us every day! From an early education standpoint, we want children to learn at every opportunity. Children are inquisitive beings, and they have lots to learn! At Little Scholars, we cherish this innate curiosity in children and strive to foster a lifelong passion for learning.
As parents and educators, we understand that some questions from our little ones can catch us off guard, leaving us searching for the right words to provide age-appropriate answers. We’re here to lend a helping hand, so let’s tackle a few of these tough questions together!
How are babies made/how did a baby get in a mummy’s belly?
Children at this age are curious about the beginning of life. You can answer simply, “A tiny seed, called sperm, from the daddy joins with a special egg from the mummy, and that’s how a baby starts to grow inside the mummy’s belly.” They may understand it like a fruit grows from a seed. For young children, this should satisfy the question. You may want to explain it’s not the same kind of egg we eat for breakfast!
What does dying mean?
The concept of death can be challenging for young children to grasp. We think it’s important to be honest here. You can say, “Dying means that a person’s body stops working, and they don’t feel pain anymore. They don’t breathe, eat, feel hungry or cold. It’s a natural part of life’s cycle, like when leaves fall from a tree in the autumn.” This is a topic that may be followed up with further questions, such as ‘will I die or will you die?’ and be honest. “Yes, we all die. But I hope to be around for a really long time. I have no serious illnesses that could change that.”
What happens to us when we die?
For toddlers and preschoolers, you can offer a comforting response like, “When someone dies, they become like a beautiful memory in our hearts. We remember all the happy times we shared with them, and they will always be a part of us.” If your family has cultural or religious beliefs around death, this may be the place to share, “in our family and our culture/religion, we believe when the body dies ______.” Your child may work through this further through their play, but just be there for them and prepared to revisit this topic.
How come Louis has two dads?
Children may notice different family structures. You can say, “Families come in all shapes and sizes. Louis is very lucky to have two dads who love and care for him just like your mummy and daddy love you.”
Why does Ashley’s mum live in a different house from her dad?
When answering a small child’s question about why a couple has divorced, we think a simple, honest, and age-appropriate response that takes their emotional well-being into consideration works best. Here’s one way to address the question: “Sometimes, mummies and daddies decide to live separately because they have found they feel happier when they have some space. It’s like when friends need some time apart.
If it’s your separation, your child will need a lot of reassurance from you. “Even though mummy and daddy won’t be living in the same house, we both still love you very much, and we will always be there for you. You will have special time with both of them, and we will continue to love and care for you in different homes.”
Young children may have a limited understanding of complex situations like divorce, so keeping the explanation simple and reassuring them of their parents’ love is crucial. Encourage them to share their feelings and questions, and assure them that it’s okay to talk about their emotions. Creating a supportive and open environment helps children navigate through changes and emotions in a healthy way.
What happened in the news that’s making everyone so sad?
Addressing sad news can be tricky. Open the discussion by asking your child what they know about what’s happened in the news. This is a good opportunity to correct false information and provide context. Remember to use age-appropriate language. Check your child’s understanding throughout the conversation and allow them to ask questions. You can say, “Sometimes, sad things happen in the world, and it can make people feel upset. It’s okay to feel sad or worried, and we can always talk about our feelings with someone we trust. You can always talk to me about anything.”
I’m scared, why is the weather so bad?
Living in Queensland, while wonderful most of the time, also means we face all kinds of weather events, such as flooding, bush fires and extreme heat, and cyclones. Unusual weather can be scary for young children, so it’s important to stay calm and make sure the information you give them is age-appropriate and simple to understand.
It’s natural for children to feel scared, so reassure them with calm and simple words. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know they are safe. You might say:
“I can see that you’re worried, and that makes sense. These weather events can be scary, but we are safe. People are working hard to protect us, and we keep learning how to stay even safer in the future.”
Thunderstorms
Thunderstorms occur when warm, moist air rises rapidly into cooler parts of the atmosphere. As the air cools, clouds and rain form. Inside the clouds, lightning, a form of electricity, builds up. When lightning strikes, it heats the surrounding air, causing it to expand quickly and create the sound of thunder – BOOM! At the same time, cooler air sinks toward the ground, leading to strong winds.
Cyclones
A cyclone happens when warm air over the ocean rises up, creating a low-pressure area that pulls in cooler air, making it spin around like a whirlpool, and as the air gets higher, it cools down and forms clouds, bringing heavy rain and strong winds; basically, it’s like a big spinning dance of hot and cold air over the sea! These winds and rain can cause damage, but this is why we have emergency services to help keep us safe, and life will eventually go back to normal.
Flooding
Floods happen when it rains heavily for a long time, causing rivers, canals, creeks and oceans to overflow and water to spread onto land that is normally dry. It’s a natural event, and not anyone’s fault, and that while sometimes scary, there are ways to stay safe and prepared!
Bush fires
Bushfires happen when dry conditions, high temperatures, and strong winds cause trees and grass to catch fire. Sometimes, they start naturally, like from lightning, and other times, they are caused by people. Firefighters and experts work hard to prevent and control them to keep people and animals safe.
Why is the sky blue?
The secret behind the blue sky lies in something called “Rayleigh scattering”. It’s a fancy scientific term, but it’s a super interesting phenomenon that helps us understand why the sky is blue. When sunlight enters the Earth’s atmosphere, it interacts with tiny particles like dust, water vapour, and pollen. This mixing causes the sunlight to scatter, or spread out, in all directions. When light waves hit these particles, they bounce off and scatter in different directions, just like water droplets scatter after you throw a rock into a pond.
Now you might ask, “Why is the sky blue and not another colour?” That’s because blue light has a shorter wavelength than other colours of light, like red or yellow. Shorter wavelengths scatter more easily when they interact with the tiny particles in the atmosphere. So, when we look up at the sky, we see more blue light than other colours.
But guess what? The sky isn’t always blue! Sunrises and sunsets are not only beautiful but also full of science. The colours we see during these times depend on the angle of the sun and the distance its light travels through the atmosphere. The lower the sun is in the sky, the more atmosphere the light has to pass through. This causes shorter wavelengths, like blue and green, to scatter more, leaving the longer wavelengths, like red and orange, to dominate the sky. That’s why we see those breathtaking colours during sunrises and sunsets!
Clouds, pollution, and weather can also change the sky’s colour, making it look grey, white, hazy, or yellow.
Where do birds go at night?
Children might wonder where birds go when it gets dark. You can say, “Birds have special nests or cozy spots where they rest at night, just like we have our beds to sleep in.
How do plants grow?
Children might be fascinated by the growth of plants and flowers. You can say, “The plants have roots at the bottom that absorb water and minerals in the ground, and then the stem starts growing. With the help of the sunlight, the stem grows in branches. Green leaves start growing out of the branches. The five things plants need to grow are sunlight, water, minerals, and food..
Why do we have seasons?
Seasons happen because the Earth goes around the sun. The Earth travels around the sun, called an orbit, once a year or every 365 days. As the Earth orbits the sun, the amount of sunlight each location on the planet gets every day changes slightly. This change causes the seasons. When it’s closer to the sun, it’s warmer, and when it’s farther away, it’s cooler.
Where does rain come from?
Children may be curious about rain and weather. Sunlight heats up water on Earth’s surface. The heat causes the water to evaporate/dry up into the sky, or to turn into water vapor. This water vapor rises into the air and makes up clouds. As the water vapor cools, it turns back into water, in the form of droplets or rain drops.
How do airplanes fly?
Little ones might be fascinated by airplanes in the sky. “Airplanes have special wings that help lift them into the air. When they move forward, the air goes over and under the wings, which creates lift and allows the airplane to fly.”
If they have follow-up questions, we liked the answers from Britannica Kids.
Why do I have to go to bed early?
Children may question bedtime rules. You can say, “Going to bed early helps our bodies and minds rest and get ready for a new day of fun and learning.”
Why do I have to eat vegetables?
Answer with something like, “Vegetables have special nutrients that help our bodies grow strong and healthy. They are like superhero foods for our bodies! We need a variety of food that have different types of nutrients so our bodies can get everything they need to be the best they can be.
How come your body doesn’t look like mine?
We bet you thought the puberty question would come later! But nope, your child has noticed there’s a slight difference between their bodies and their parents’ bodies. We know this can feel awkward to answer, but your child doesn’t understand why it could be hard for their parents to explain, so use proper words and keep it simple.
It’s okay not to have all the answers, and it’s perfectly fine to keep explanations simple and age-appropriate. If you don’t have the answers, you can look it up together. By embracing your child’s questions and engaging in open conversations, you’re nurturing their curiosity and building a strong foundation for their learning journey. Be sure to let your lead educator know you’re having these conversations at home. Your child is likely not the only one wondering some of these questions, and your educators can find ways to help them understand life’s curiosities!
Let us hold your hand and help looking for a child care centre. Leave your details with us and we’ll be in contact to arrange a time for a ‘Campus Tour’ and we will answer any questions you might have!
Let us hold your hand and help looking for a child care centre. Leave your details with us and we’ll be in contact to arrange a time for a ‘Campus Tour’ and we will answer any questions you might have!
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